Date Selection – 择日 – 嫁娶 PART 3 – 礼仪/礼节

On the Chosen Big Day. 周公斗桃花女

Getting ready for Marriage.

Bridegroom starting out his trip to receive his Bride from the In-Law family. Depends on different dialect groups.
Just to name 2 for examples; Teochew do it in the early wee hours to avoid all possible clashes. 冲煞.
Hokkien have mostly modernize and simplify many practices.
I leave it to all to perform their own preferences.

At the prosperous time吉时 as instructed by Shifu ( if any ), Bridegroom and convoy move out to the Bride’s home.
NOTE :
Those persons with their Chinese zodiac signs / Age / Day clashes with the occasion are to avoid being presence as advised earlier. 冲犯者暫时后避. 新娘煞 is the most powerful, Bad will befall on those that clashes. Not the Bride.

Modern practice –
Upon reaching Bridegroom’s home, some bargaining are seen as warming up to the occasion a common practice between the Bridegroom’s convoy and the Brides’ Sisters Army. Ang-Pows红包 are normally exchanged to get the Sisters Army to let-in the Bridegroom to win his LOVE hand.
Some fun punishments are also added-in in modern times to increase joy and laughter for all.
Again, time is of essence, at the instructed time by Shifu ( if any ), the Couple will make their way back to the Bridegroom family to conduct the Wedding ritual.

I will not go into the detailed lists of Prosperous Wedding items needed for the occasion. Rather leaving it to the Wedding Planner in the preparations as different dialects may have different customary practices.

Only highlight below items must have –
Washing basin and a Urinal. 尿桶, 洗脸盆. As in ancient times, journey was long arduous by foot in the Wedding sedan carried by laborers. The Bride may have to stop along the way for quick relief and refresh herself. Remember, ancient times got no air-conditioning.

Bringing along a brand new bamboo broom with a piece of meat hanging at one end to ward-off evil spirits. Nowadays, a can of preserved pig trotters are commonly used.

As it is difficult to get hold of the rice pan丁胎 nowadays ( the big pan used for cleaning up the rice from the padi field ); a brand new Red Umbrella is commonly used as replacement. To shelter the Bride all the way ( to and fro ) and avoid the Sky at all costs天劫, 天魔 , 白虎星 . ( Note : this practice is for non-pregnancy cases only ). If the Bride is carrying a baby, then to do away with it. As mis-carriage may be a possibility as Heaven’s Code is broken.

A basket full of RED and GREEN beans. As the Bride passes along the way, to scatter the beans towards the ground to ward-off evil spirits that may be presence along her path. Till she reaches her In-Law family.

I will only focus on the important issues at hand.
At the Prosperous timing 吉时, Bride must be ready with the Wedding car / convoy and be set-off back to the In-law family.

To Note :
As the Bride is that of a Fairy coming down from Heaven to be married into her new family-in-law 仙女下凡; all the way throughout the whole journey; her head must be protected at all costs from attack by potential evil forces. Example are Heaven’s spirits; White Tiger spirit, 天劫, 天魔 , 白虎星.

Upon reaching the Bridegroom house. At the outside of the house, a Charcoal Cooker with burning fire is presence for the Bride to leap over 避免地狱界伤害 as to cleanse herself from possible earth evil spirits 净掉煞气才造命. A symbolic ACT like a Heaven descended Fairy仙女下凡, flying down to become the Husband family’s new member. Once she leap over, she must step onto the burning fire and break the holder as a sign of Heaven’s Fairy landing into the husband family 喜从天降 and becoming one of them. With the purpose of procreation.
Of course, some tricks can be done beforehand to have the charcoal holder be broken easily.

Next, she has to leap over again, this time leaping over the main door floor – divider into the house. As a sign of obedience and respect to the husband parents as their newly wed daughter-in-law. And not to be confrontational in the coming future.

Then she must be seated comfortably with 1 leg rested on the floor, while another leg on a small Brand new stool as a sign of good life hereafter. Left leg on stool symbolize wishing for a baby boy first birth. Right leg on stool symbolize wishing for a baby girl first birth. ( Just a WISH ). There are other means we can deal later, on the baby subject.

Then, a RED temporary colour marker is used to circle round the Bride to prepare the Bride for the final entrance into the family in front of the Altar. ( With the God/s and/or Ancestor tablet/s as witnesses ).
Now, the Bride is to break the Red circle surrounding her as the final procedure as confirmation of her acceptance into the family as witnessed by the family God/s and/or Ancestor/s.

All these while, the Bridegroom parent/s; Grand-parent/s must be stationed in another room. Till after the Bride broke the RED circle and knock on the door to request Audience and seek the Elders permission to receive; and have them welcoming their new Daughter-in-law.

Next, paying 3 respects in front of the alter to formalise the marriage.

叩拜
1- Pay Respect to Parents for their upbringing
2- Pay Respect to Ancestor/s, thanks them for making this marriage possible
3- Pay Respect to each other and Swear to be together till old age

Then the Father in-law to present a Ang-pow to his son, while the Mother
in-law to present another Ang-pow to the new daughter in-law.

Next, Tea Serving Ceremony, in accordance to the most elderly first, downwards…..
Addressing each and everyone as a sign of Respect and Acknowledgment of the newly-wed couple by all presence.

There may be some eating ceremony to symbolize Union of the couple. Preferably using the same utensil and bowl.

In their room, to place a pair of the husband’s pants on 2 chairs. With one leg to each chair. Symbolize sharing their destiny together, forever.

Then, the new Bride’s younger brother 小舅 must visit the new Couple’s room to check on the status and with the intention to report back home to his parents that his elder sister is well taken care of. 探房 Now, the new Brother in-law must present him小舅 with a drumstick shaft into his mouth and a BIG Red packet to sweeten his talk back home.

Dinner reception are normally held at night to complete the whole event.

P.S.
Look only for Restaurant preferably above ground level like 2nd floor and above ( Heaven’s Court ) 天阁
Basement Restaurant is a ‘no no ‘ as they symbolize Hell setting.

No 茺 are to be served at the Dinner event. Close resemblance to 冲

Again, the Husband’s elder or younger sister ( if any ) are to remain low-key at the event. 姑 means 孤.

In ancient time, the married daughter was only able to make the return trip back to her parents on the 3rd day of the marriage. 回娘家
As the 2nd day, there were still be many relatives coming to congratulate the Couple. We were big big families in those days.

With modern time changes with smaller and smaller families nucleus, we now practice going back to the mum’s place on the 2nd day.

With this, the whole Wedding Ceremony is complete.
Note :

My inputs are for references only.💏💏💏